Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 in Review... Bring on 2016!

As we say goodbye to 2015, it seems like a good time to share some thoughts with family and friends.  Despite some rough patches, it has been a good year and I am grateful.  Life continues to be challenging, but I’ve settled into a kind of rhythm that is much more contented and peaceful.  I’m working hard on learning to be happy right now (as the little meme here says) rather than seeking happiness somewhere in the future.  And I’d have to say I’d give myself a solid B+ on my efforts. 


2015 started in a deep freeze.  Remember?  It’s hard to remember since temperatures have been so gracious so far this winter.  I remember precious little about January and February except the cold, ice, and snow. 



 March brought an exciting new development with the opening of a Tractor Supply in the area.  My fascination with the baby chicks was kind of ridiculous.  BUT the best part was being able to buy really inexpensive barn red paint which I used to paint the third floor bedroom that was previously dubbed the “Anne Frank Room” by some of my friends who slept there.  It was bad, but I’m pretty proud of what I have done with it.  Kaley came home to help paint for a weekend and that Tractor Supply paint did the trick.  I've really enjoyed creating a home in my big old house.


April brought the annual gathering of the “YaYa Sisterhood” in my house.  A collection of friends from childhood, high school, college, and other parts of life who have all gotten to know each other over the years and have become friends.  We get together annually and it is one of my favorite weekends of the year.  The sisters travel from across the US to be together.  I love these good women so much.  They are my unbiological sisters and I’m so grateful. 



Within days after their visit I experienced one of the year’s heartbeaks.  My soulmate dog Corona the goldendoodle developed a nasal tumor and was suffering.  Instead of prolonging his suffering to try to hold on to him for my own sake, I chose to set him free and send his precious spirit to heaven.  (The pope says he’s there and I’m sticking with that!)  Corona stuck by my side through thick and thin over the past 10 years and I still miss him terribly.  

May.  Yes that was a month.  The day after Mother’s Day I developed what I originally thought was a stomach bug.  I got sicker through the night and asked Brennan to come when he got off work in the morning to help me.  He took me to West Penn Hospital where it was quickly determined that I was sicker than I realized.  After a couple of days in the ICU, LOTS of tests, I learned a lot of weird stuff about myself.  I have a weird heart rhythm.  I have a hole in my heart.  Not a big deal but odd that it had never been diagnosed.  I have an oddly formed duct in my pancreas that appears to be a tumor on a CT scan.  Thank God it wasn’t.  It was finally determined that I had suffered a bout of ischemic colitis, in other words, a “heart attack” of the colon.  I apparently threw a blood clot, but instead of it going to my heart or my brain (either of which could have been far more devastating), it went to my colon and caused significant bleeding.  But after a few days of being supported in the hospital I recovered well.  I followed up with lots of cardiac testing, and for now the only treatment is a daily baby aspirin to help prevent future clots.  It was all quite scary, but I’m so grateful to have come through in good shape.  And I’m so grateful for the friends and family who helped me through this time.  
  
May ended on a good note when Brennan, Kaley, friend Tom and I did a long weekend trip to Universal Studios and Harry Potter World in Florida.  The kids have wanted to do this ever since Harry’s stuff opened at Universal.  It was a really fun weekend just having Brennan and Kaley together since those times are few and precious.  I know that some of you wonder about this Tom who often appears in my photos and at family events.  He is my person.  He changes my lightbulbs and fixes my cars.  We eat together a couple of evenings a week.  We travel together.  He was with me through the health scares of this year.  We enjoy each other’s company and care for and support each other.  He is a good friend and I feel very blessed to have him in my life.

Speaking of Tom, June brought a wonderful trip to New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine.  Lots of miles in just over a week.  Good company.  Good views.  Good walks.  Good food.  A good vacation. 






Also in June was the arrival of a surprising blessing in our lives.  Brennan has been dating a young woman named Nicole, who has a 2 year old little girl, whom I refer to publicly as “The Cutie Patutie.”  (Her name is actually Kyla.)  I have to admit, I first I held Kyla at arms length, determined not to get attached since who knows how long she will be around. I have failed miserably.  She calls me “Wa” and she is a joy and a blessing.  Life and love require us to be vulnerable sometimes… and yet isn’t it worth the risk? 

July & August – flew by – lots of work activities and opportunities to babysit the Cutie Patutie.  I continue to enjoy my challenging work at Redstone Presbyterian SeniorCare, where my title is now VP for Mission Support.  I am convinced that non-profit fundraising becomes more  difficult every year.  Our largest gifts come in the form of legacy gifts.  It is such a privilege to talk to our residents about their legacies.  Brennan also still works at Redstone as a nurses aid on the night shift.  He's been able to bring Kyla to some events at Redstone, including the block party where this picture was snapped.


In September my work son Brandon and I organized a trip to Chicago benefitting Redstone.  We got to see the Pirates play at historic Wrigley Field.  What a fun weekend with old friends and new!
 I also got to co-officiate the wedding of my dear friend Diane and her husband Bob. Kaley came home to attend with me and we just had a blast.



October brought our annual “First Saturday in October Kiski Gathering” for the Class of ’79 and  friends.  We do it every year at the local VFW and it is such a wonderful night of reconnecting.  I look forward to this annually and I’m grateful for the relationships it has helped to forge.  


Later in October I had a chance to spend a weekend with my precious friends Jill and Joy.  We were college roommates, best of friends, and we’re still going strong after all these years.  I am so grateful for both of them. Jill lives in Alabama and Joy in Maryland but we make sure to see each other at least once a year.  

November means our annual Highlands Fling fundraiser supporting free care for residents in need at Redstone. It is our biggest event of the year and a lot of work for my team.   I was so grateful that “my tribe” showed up to support me.  It was a successful night and hopefully everyone had a good time! 



December brought the usual festivities and frenzy.  Kaley has been home from the city since early last week.  I so enjoy having her home but she is loving her life in New York City.  She works hard to be financially independent.  She continues to coach gymnastics at the Jewish Community Center in Manhattan and has a couple of families she babysits for on a very regular basis.  Last summer she did the “nanny in the Hamptons thing” which was financially successful.  She still hopes to begin nursing school next fall.  Please keep her in your prayers as she goes through the application process.  The admissions process is very stressful in NYC since the number of candidates far outnumbers the available spots in the schools offering accelerated nursing programs which is what she needs on top of her BS in Biology.  We’ll be returning her to the city on January 1.  Sad sigh. 




I must give a brief update on “the fur kids.”  My brood now includes two dogs and two cats.  Chickapee is 7 years old and neurotic.  Mimi is 9 and is the dog that I inherited from Aunt Helen a few years ago.  She is slightly less neurotic and spends most of her time looking for a lap to land on.  Yellow Kitty aka Buddy is supposed to be Brennan’s cat.  I’m not sure Yellow Kitty knows this.  He is big and cuddly with me and hissy with most other people.  Meredith Grey, my tiny little fragile rescue kitty is doing great.  Her coat is now thick and beautiful and while she remains tiny she is tough.  She has single handedly destroyed my Christmas tree and broken many ornaments this year.  But I love her anyway.
 

I'll close (FINALLY!) with two family photos.  The first is one we tried to take early in the fall for me to use with the “Christmas letter.”  Believe it or not, this was the best shot we got… and I love it.  It’s so us.   We’re a mess.  We don't pay attention very well.  But we love each other.  Included in the photo is the young man I call “Bonus Son Ronnie.”  Ronnie continues to stay very busy traveling the world.  I’m happy that he’s having so many adventures, but I miss him.  But this picture makes me smile.



The second is our Christmas morning selfie.  Those of you who see me on Facebook know that I am the queen of selfies.  And I have no shame of that. I love seeing pictures from so many friends via social media.  I feel like our family members and loved ones are just a few keystrokes away and a very real presence in our lives.  I LOVE that.  So excuse me please if I keep snapping away with the pictures.


There is a quote from the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch where Stitch says “This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah - still good.”  Exactly.  That’s us, and I love it. 

2015 has been filled with challenges, love, and blessings abundant.  God has been good, all the time. May 2016 be full of love, peace, and joy for all of us. 

XOXO
Lisa







Monday, July 20, 2015

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I have just concluded the weirdest, crazy making, anxiety producing, two months of my life.  Some of you have been aware of this strange journey and have prayed me through it.  And despite my mantra of #livelifetransparently I've been kind of quiet about it all as of late. Because it got scary.  But today I'm feeling very very grateful.

Two months ago I was hospitalized as a pretty sick woman, diagnosed as having had a "heart attack of the colon."  What is that?  Who does that?  (From those of you I heard from apparently some of your parents have!)  This led to lots of tests to find out WHY this had happened.  (Might I add that I was told on more than one occasion that "we do see this in the elderly."  Woah... are you talking about me???)

First stop was the heart.  Bingo. An arrhythmia called Left Branch Bundle Block. And the discovery of a hole in my heart that has been there since birth but just now decided to raise its ugly little head.  But LOTS of tests and procedures and scary days later, I know that except for the hole and the rhythm issue, I've got a very healthy heart!  No blockages.  No signs of disease.  A strong muscle.  Yes, the hole will cause me to become winded a bit more easily. (I now have something to blame my tiredness on!) Yes, the rhythm issue puts me at a higher risk for stroke.  Yes, I will need to take a baby aspirin every day to keep the little sucker from throwing clots where they aren't supposed to be. Yes, Pittsburgh Penguin Kris LeTang is my heart brother because he had to pretty much take a season off and figure out how to manage his stamina because of a hole in his heart. Lucky for me I'm not a pro-athlete and the plan is a little different.  In six months I'll repeat all of the scans again to make sure that the hole hasn't gotten any bigger, then after that it will be every couple of years for a check. But for now, the cardiologist says get back to the gym!

The second (and more concerning) issue, was that the CT scan and follow up MRI of my belly showed a little something on my pancreas.  You don't want a little something on your pancreas.  From the scans, the pancreas doc believed that this was a pre-cancerous growth in the main duct, and that while it would need to be managed, there was time to be intentional about a treatment plan. You don't want to rush in to messing with your pancreas I'm told.   So on Friday I went in to Allegheny General to have a scope biopsy of the pancreas in order to make that plan.  To my joy, I woke up to the news that the "mass" was actually a SECOND duct in my pancreas that should have merged into the main duct prenatally but sometimes it remains. Seriously??  People with these divided ducts are more prone to pancreatitis but since I haven't had it in my 50+ years, the pancreas doc (who looks like Taylor Swift btw) says I probably don't need to worry about that. OK then.  I'll take that!

So what have I learned from these past two months?  Well, of course I will tell you.

1.  I have amazing friends and family.  From emptying my puke bucket, driving me to appointments, praying for me, encouraging me, researching pancreases and hearts... I am extremely blessed and grateful. PLEASE let me know when I can come empty your puke bucket someday because I'm there.  

2.  I am a freak of nature. Those who know me well know the list... thumbs without joints (a trait shared by my late dad, brother, and nephew),  a tailbone anomaly that only really bothers me when I do sit ups so I don't do them, feet and ankles so weird that I needed surgery to fix them back in college, a dad who never had a gall bladder, a brother with eye anomalies, and now I have a heart with a hole in it and a pancreas with an extra duct.  And this is the way that God knit me together! It is not lost on me that I was just a few more gene mutations away from not being born!  And in God's eyes I am absolutely perfect, as are you. PERFECTLY IMPERFECT.  Let's go with that and not try to figure it out, OK?

3.  I am so very grateful.  I don't like the word blessed.  Because if God "blessed" me by NOT having a tumor in my pancreas, why did God not bless my dear friends who are going through such struggles with their health, cancer in particular?  I do not know.  I cannot know.  So all that I can know is that I am grateful that this is not a cross that I must carry at this time -- and my love and prayers remain steadfast for those who do.

4.  I have been reminded again that in truth, we only have today. I'm really LUCKY that the "heart attack" occured in my colon and not my brain. And I could fixate on whether another clot could go somewhere else tomorrow, but I can't do that. And neither can you.   We like to think "Oh, I have at least another 30 years to live because I eat right and exercise" or " oh the doctor says that I only have 3 months to live."  I call bull@#$%.  We have today.  That's it.  And as scary as that is, it's freeing, too.  Live it, love it, embrace it.  As a friend of many of ours used to say, "Love the time." Yes.

5. Given this gift, I'm going to make every effort to reform my ways.  I'm not sure that I can because I've tried so many times before and failed.  It's a struggle so many of us share.  We eat to comfort ourselves or because we're bored or lonely.  My sugar addiction is ridiculous.  We spend way too many hours sitting.  TV, computer, phones... did I move anything besides my wrist today??  But just for today, I'm going to eat mindfully and get to the gym.  And when I feel like I can't breathe I'm going to thank God for my strong heart with that little hole in it, and keep going. Little steps.  Little decisions.  Join me in this OK, friends?  We can pray and encourage each other through this!

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You are, too.  Perfectly imperfect. Thanks be to God for the gift of our bodies, our lives, and each other.